Thursday, December 29, 2005
okay. i feel terrible. terribly upset. tok bout disappointment huh. pig mummy told me something today. and it hit me. really hard. it didnt come to me as a surprise. but u noe..tt disappointment one gets when u hear tt ur fren is actually doing such stuff. something u hated. it's not like im not gonna tok to him again jus because he smokes. but hey come on la. dun tell me u smoke cos u wanna de-stress. den can i cut my wrist each time i feel stress? logical anot? it's absurd la huh. i jus felt realli disappointed. and wat's more.. u seemed to be avoiding me more and more. i dunno. tis kinda heartbroken feeling is one i nv experience before..for a guy. im serious. i noe nothing will prob come out of it. but it's like heartbroken. i hate tis feeling.
pig mummy says u probably dunno how i feel for u..but even i do feel anything for me, u'd prob initiate something. but i dun see tt..oh yar..u initiate something. avoidance. ur ignorance makes me feel like calling u and screaming into the fone. or probably give u a few punches in the stomach. ahhs. i dun like tis lo. really. a while u'd be like so sweet, another, u'd be so cold. one part of me yearn to noe how u felt, yet the other part of me doesn't one, for fear of rejection. i understand i can't force things. but feelings aren't something controllable right? i guess pig mummy's right. i should divert attention to someone else like dino..but how can i? someone tell me. being oblivious to ur presence? i can't do tt. can anyone help me. save me from falling into tis trap. or maybe..i've alrd fallen into it long ago...
10:50 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
