Saturday, March 24, 2007
okay. the reason for this entry is because Mr Tazmania Chua Zhi Gang a.k.a Kor Kor is complaining that i'm not nice enough to him. so i shall be a nice mei mei for once...
haha. alrights. shan't be mean to him anymore, lest kris starts nagging at me. aiyah. couples. sigh. heh. anws, ystd had dance as usual. vpop was equally fun with all that crazy dance routine we had..made me laugh and fool around alot too. street jazz was a little too soft i must say...too ballet-ish. afterall bibi's a dancer with ballet background. but i gotta say i do like attending classes every week. it's like my recreation for the week. time to relax, have fun and sweat it out. not forgetting my gym sessions with mate too ((:
dinner at lau pa sat. bumped into marc. almost couldnt recognise him..too sweaty, messy hair, uber tight jeans and shirt..aiyo. marc, pls cut your hair. if not i'm gonna get a pair of scissors and a bowl, then i'll go snip snip snip. LOL. head home afterwards with the company of zg. alrights. he's nice enough to come down for dinner with us..and acc me at least halfway home. for that, i'll call you, kor, once at the airport kays. hah. so dont say i'm not nice to you. TSK. and treat kris better hor. everytime "no we" to her...so bad. later i intro cute guys to her then you know...our christine give you all her beauty and youth..just for your eyes you know. and..she's my mamasan...haha
another thing, i'm extending with the company for another month. seriously, i do want to voice out my unhappiness but i do not know how to. and GB said the reason why she's so strict with me is because, someone said i seemed to be quite free. my word. what a bitch. when i'm busy, no one sees. whatever work i've done, no one appreciates nor did they ever say "thank goodness you are here to help me'. nobody at all. that's fine. but now, there's this someone who actually says that i seemed to be so free. like HELLO! stop all these rubbish pls. dont let me find out who is this person...if you are so free to notice that i've nothing to do, why dont you spot check others too. or use your free time to spot time me by doing more impt work. i simply cant believe such people actually exist. or maybe GB is just giving excuses. maybe she's the one who came up with such a story. one thing for such, she's just too 'face'-concious. all these office politics is driving me crazy...how can they let a 19 yr old experiece such things.
frankly speaking, somehow i have in mind who might be that someone. besides most of my colleagues are really nice people. so it can't be them. i'm sorry to say this but before i find out who is this someone, i simply have to protect myself and be on guard on others. i guess the only person i can trust totally in the whole office is jieyi, uncle lee and uncle anthony. the rest, even tho they are very nice to me but after such an incident, everything might be just a show. afterall, i used to think GB was a nice person. but it turns out that she's so fake. oh well. shan't continue further. the more i disgress into this issue, the more the emotions within me wells up. so i'm off to bed. tata.
12:32 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
urgh!
i need an avenue to vent my frustrations.
i'm super pissed and fed up!
and it's only for this week that i realized my blood pressure rising. not gradually but on a fast rate. how can it not rise when i have to face such a person. stupid GB. i really detest her now. so what if she's above me?!? no big deal.
Monday: was reading mag, because i have no work at hand and but for nothing she came and find fault with me. pretend to ask "you have no work izzit?" HELLO! obviously i have no work to do that's why i'm reading a mag. if not you think i'm so free huh! then she called sandy to ask her to give me work. you keep pestering people to give me work, why? you think her customers are very rich izzit. continuous orders huh. then she started calling people and speaking in a low voice. my instinct tells me it's about me. i dont accuse people for nothing, but if she wanna gossip about me, dont do it in front of it. unhappy? just say it! i hate it if you wanna gossip behind my back, and actually have the nerve to do it in my presence! and i don't see what's wrong with reading magazines.
Tues: Board of Directors meeting. i was doin my work and she came over, gave me a long list of reference no to check. and she said "pls do not surf the net. the board of directors are here." eh hello! which eye of urs saw me surfing the net?!? i was doing my work and for nothing, you accused me again. i admit i did surf the net during certain occasions but i did not do it ystd! i'm not so stupid as to do it when the directors are here! and fyi, the rest of the people are doing the same thing. since you are SO concern, why not be KIND and "remind" them as well?!? and she actually dare to give me that F-up face. who are you to give me such a face. dont think i dont dare to attitude back!
Wed: Today. after lunch, i had nothing to do. so jieyi asked me to plaid her hair for us. okay, so i helped her. boss walked past, she didnt even say anything and that idiotic GB called me. "Melissa, can you stop doing this kind of things. it's working hours. boss is looking at you okay." wth!if boss is unhappy with me, she'll scold me. but she didnt! she knows that i have no work to do what. at that moment my blood pressure just rose to the max! i was freaking pissed off with her! eh, old spinster! pls dont find fault with me for every single thing!
seriously, i dont understand why for every single thing, she'll want to find fault with me! what does she mean by that kind of things. plaid hair got problem izzit. nobody say anything, you must be that extra one right. if whenever sandy or her give me work, i leave aside and surf the net/read mag then it's my fault. like that, she wanna say me, by all means. BUT i never. whenever they give me any work, i'll do it immediately. i wouldnt skive. but when i have nothing to do, waiting for sandy to give me work, reading a mag, will that kill her? what's her bloody problem! she says, dont surf the net, fine, i didnt. so i read a mag. and she still finds fault with it. even when i'm reading nus pamplet, she's also unhappy. okay, fine, i bring all my mag home. plaid hair also unhappy. then what the hell does she wans me to do. i have nothing to do at all! i think i should just glue my butt onto the chair all day long. maybe i'll try to stare at the computer when i have no work. and if i fall asleep that's too bad. she wanna find fault even with that, i'll just have to tell her, "i'm so sorry. you said no surfing net. no mag. no plaiting of hair. now i stare at the computer and i fall asleep, i can't control my mind. that's too bad."
i'm the only one who get all these shit! everyone else in the office dont! what is this man. and what position is she holding? nothing. not even a manager. HAH! and to think that she actually clocked at least 14 hours a day. stayed at position of a lowly worker for 7 years. that's not great at all! and when we read mag, boss saw it but she didnt even complain or voice her unhappiness with us. why? because she understands we have no work. and who does she think she is to comment me then? just because i'm working under her, helping her to do her work, doesnt mean i'm at the beck of her call. i'm not a dog!
she loves to insist that she's not interested in other people's business but yet, her actions does reflect what she preach! so stop preaching and boosting about how great you are. cos you aren't. AT ALL! she's always so busybody, loves calling her uncle lee and gossip about others. so that's what you call not interested in other people's business? NAH-UH! i help jieyi plaid hair cannot. read mag also cannot. she can gather a group of people at her table and gossip. that's correct la? to sandy or the rest of the females in my office, she's always hostile or unfriendly. to men, you can always hear her go.."aiyo..mr XXX you are so NAUGhty!" my goodness. it gives me goosebumps man. and she herself knows that people in the dept doesnt like her, yet she dont even wanna change. all she can do is to find fault with me. that's what she's good at. jieyi said, when she first enter the company, i actually told her even tho GB is eccentric, but she's very nice. she said i was being too kind to say that of GB and i should take back my words. yes man. i should.
her english suck and she still tries to fake an accent to the customers. it doesnt pass off at all! her english standard is so broken and yet she still wanna correct others. pls. save it. Beckham, she also dunno how to pronounce. she actually pronounced it as "bec-hem". does she wan me to ask david beckham to teach her how to pronounce his surname? i actually have to edit her whole template. the english is so bad that i'd feel embarrassed if i actually send it to the customers. urgh! she drives me crazy! whatever she wanna complain about it, by all means go. i dont give a damn. she doesnt dare to complain about jieyi even tho jieyi did the same things as me because she's not under her. so, that gives her the permission to bully me la! it's only this week that her colours start to show. and it's only the third day of the week and she's alrd making me wanna cry. what shit is this. she actually have the nerve to tell uncle lee she's alrd trying to close one eye. too much, she'll say. HELLO. reading a mag or plaiting hair is too much. then what is little? do you wanna restrict me from eating or going to the toilet too? i'm sorry. i can't control my stomach from growling and i can't control the time when i need to relief my bowels. since she can kick up a big fuss out of nothing, i'm sure she'll definitely pick on me for such things too.
now, wini is asking me to extend. i dont mind extending but i'm so NOT gonna work under GB anymore. she drives me nuts. she's so unbearable now that the sight of her makes me hate her even more. her voice makes me sick. and when she calls my name, i'll feel insulted. that's how much i hate her now. ask jieyi. she hates her as much too. my goodness sake, someone should tell her to get a life. maybe i should be that someone. i think if wini asked about staying, i'll spill everything out to her. i dont care if i cry. GB provoked me to that limit. she really pisses me off so much till i seriously feel like crying. tmr, i dunno what pattern is she up to. she'll definitely find fault with me. i dont hate going to work. i hate seeing her face. i hate her. urgh. she better not provoke me and jieyi further. we'll cry in front of her. then, we'll see who wins. urgh. i hate her. now i know why sis was quite worried when i had to work under a spinster. you can't blame me for discriminating. now i know. i get all sort of shit. eccentric. fake. paranoid. disgusting. proud. retarded. idiotic. mad. weird. she suck la.
10:04 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Thursday, March 15, 2007
just got back from dance.
hmm. today's dance lesson's not bad, tho' i didnt really sweat it all out. but still, had fun ((: went for Yutaki's V-Pop..and i must say, it's fun..and he's quite lame. and my word, so embarrassing for me. i couldnt do the "yeah yeah" part, he actually came over and "help" me a little...kris said my whole face turned tomato red. LOL. must be the blusher la..heh. no street jazz today tho'...disappointed. nvm. next week. ooh. Monday's Pilates & girls hip hop was good. that one really made me stretch and sweat it all out. hmm. shall continue my 4 class/week routine. make my money worth, yahh?
went for a mini shopping trip ystd. not bad actually. and i saw the Fossil watch i like..hmm hmm. i'm so gonna get it. i want!! finally something i really like ((:
okay. something a little more serious. i'm thinking of whether i should go abroad for my studies. as a matter of fact, that thought came across my mind before i got my results. and by the time i got my results, i'm actually quite decided that i'll go. now, i'm not too sure to go anot. one thing is the money. dont want my dad to slog his guts out for my fees. i'm still thinking thinking. but if i do go, i'll get a bank loan and go somewhere far. like UK or switzerland. urgh. headache. but something in me tells me that i should go. maybe i should go. should i???
11:19 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Sunday, March 11, 2007
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...and after the rainbow...i see love.
...i chose you but will you pick me? choose me? love me?
afterall, fairytale endings aren't like before anymore...
11:03 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
i'm tiredd...it has been a longg day for me.
quick summary...openhse in the afternoon, NUS & NTU. saw many familiar faces. got quite alot of freebies..haha. typical s'porean. should have spent a longer time at NUS but i guess i'll jus read the pamplets. next stop - OCS Commissioning. quite an experience. technically it's for victor la, but managed to locate wai & darius. feel really proud of these guys during the parade man. i bet if i'm a parent there, i'll be damn touched. serious!
so dinner was over at OCS too, found steve and chatted for awhile. saw quite a few good-looking guys too ((: haha. typical behaviour of singles!! kuku-nathan steve, go around telling people i go OCS to see guys, spoil my reputation only! urgh. TSK! and Ms Goh KaLynn saw her W X Shen guy..ahah. eyes totally set on him man. lols. took pictures too with victor, wai & darius. hah. then it was chilling out time at eski bar @ Holland V and finally another chilling out session at bugis. now, i'm all chilled! LOL. so lame.
but the pub at bugis wasnt at all good. alright but without a variety of beers, cocktails & food, they seemed to be on the losing end among pubs vendors there. ooh. and wai brought friends. nice knowing more people actually. just chat, laughed and off we go....HOME. so now, i'm super shacked. there's church tmr, felt kinda guilty for not going last sun. dad & mum were upset with me, so i think i'd go tmr. guilty alrd. and i promised steve & mish, i'll be there. so off to bed! tata ((:
3:03 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Friday, March 09, 2007
it's the weekend again!yeah. this weel has been kinda tiring. out everyday..not going home for dinners..i feel so guilty. next week shall be home at least one day for dinner. i miss mum's cooking! anyways, signed up for the unlimited dance classes alrd..so no more 4X a month. it's gonna be 4X a week instead. girls' hip hop, Philates, street jazz & V-pop. ooh..and, anyone who knows yutaki, this japanese who acted in light years on channel 5, he's teaching at studio wu now. V-pop's taught by him. he's kinda funny tho...but should be quite an interesting class ((:
as usual work can get kinda heavy during "peak" hours..in which i mean, before lunch time and knocking off time. can get so stressed up sometimes that if i still hear that wild boar sing, i think i'll go crazy. lols. me and jieyi are like meanies...everyone seemed to be treating him very well except me and jieyi. we hardly even recognise his presence. haha. ooh ooh..and today, i found out something so shocking. that Andy guy sitting beside jieyi actually has a daughter! my gawd. he's like so young man! how can that be..aiyoyo. this is enough to make me go wide-eyed for a long time. just dont tell me LL's married too..i think i'll scream in disbelief if i ever hear such things. lols. for those who dunno, LL's jieyi and my EC in office. red sports car somemore! cool but abit too old for us la. haha.
another thing, me and jieyi received this weird and gross msg on friendster. same person. my word! how free can some people get. atrocious man. and it's a les who's saying such gross things to me. inot against lesbians or gays, instead i dont mind them at all..but it's all an entirely different issue afterall. i just cannot accept such disgusting messages. one of the sentence goes something like that..."can't wait to carress you all over". eeyer! PUH-LESH..i'm not like some ornament for you to touch! yuck. makes me feel like puking! urgh. gross out!
forget bout it. anyway, it's friday and met up with lynn just now again. haha..bought this box of super bitter chocolates by meiji! urgh! and it's a box la. it's only 72% cocoa and it's already SO bitter. the worst i've ever eaten. not a bit of sweetness at all. darn. how am i gonna finish that whole box. i thot meiji chocolates are supposed to be good? urgh. regret!
okay. i'm going off..long day tmr. below, pictures as promised. @Blue Jazz last sat...
My trademark face ;)
Uh-huh...continue talking.... we are listening..
Blue Jazz..new found chill out spot.
Pam: Yuck. that drink suck!
10:49 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
After working for sometime, i realized politics do exist in offices. i mean, it's no longer that so-called "clean" environment it seemed as if like before. i prefer that innocent and "everyone's real" picture of life. but of course, i'm not involved in such office politics, but somehow or another, i managed to be aware of these on-goings in the office. i guess being an outsider, it's easier for me to see what's really going on behind the scenes. okay, office politics aside, getting along with colleagues. day to day working together is another thing. poeple begin to slowly show their true self, and working together sometimes becomes harder.
arguments arise, opinions clashed, fake fronts are a norm, tongues start to wag...the list goes on. very typical. sometimes, it makes me wonder, now that i'm only a temp in the company, and i'm already witnessing all these on-goings, what will it be like when i really step into the working world. gosh. i'm kinda lucky i'm not involved in any of the above. i never get myself involve in such things. me and jieyi just sit back and watch..hmm..and maybe "discuss" about these people. more often than not, it is the ladies that are involved. no wonder some people categorize women as vicious and cheap.
sometimes it really freaks me to see how selfish man can be. really. cunning. crafty. scheming. gossipy. of cos, it is man's nature to gossip but to a certain extend, it's fine. not over-doing it! aiyoyo. i realized that the world that i have been living for the past 18 years have been portrayed as a nice and innocent place. being protected always. but somehow, adults doesn't seemed that innocent afterall huh. owels, at the end of the day, all we can say is reality hurts. haha. so thankful i still have at least 4 yrs of education before i step into the working society.
recalling back to just last year when we were all struggling with chem, math & econs, mugging all day in the library, under the "scary" eyes of the shark, as compared, life then may seem tiring, but trust me, working is definitely more tiring than that. even plain staring at the computer makes me wanna sleep. let alone tons of work to be done. ironically, i miss studying. serious. essays, tutorials, tuition work, blah..i miss them all.
after working for 2 months, i conclude, working IS tiring. not to mention all that office politics and gossipy news, waking up alone is tiring for me. that same routine day in, day out. thank goodness i have my own recreation programmes and office eye-candy ((: and of course my dearest colleague cum mate, ms cherry. was supposedly gonna end my contract end of this month with no intention to extend at all, but i think there should be some changes. so yahh. shall see how everything goes. meanwhile, i shall just stay behind the scene with jieyi, maintaining our "on-lookers" position..better not get involve in those adults' world "activities". lols.
actually there are some pictures to be uploaded but nvm, another tym. will be up next entry..till then, stay tune~
"confused state. lost with no sense of direction. someone, help me with the right way to go..."
12:03 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Monday, March 05, 2007
chanced upon this on someone's blog. not very true eh i think.
M: Makes dating fun
E: A GOOD KISSER
L: Loved by everyone
I: Loyal to those you love.
S: Easy to fall in love with
S: Easy to fall in love with
A: likes to drink
KEY:
A: likes to drink
B: Likes people
C: is wild and crazy
D: Has one of the best personalities ever.
E: A GOOD KISSER
F: People adore you.
G: never let people tell you what to do
H: Have a very good personality and looks.
I: Loyal to those you love.
J: Lives life for fun.
K: Really silly.
L: Loved by everyone
M: Makes dating fun
N: Dead sexy.
O: Best in bed.
P: Popular with all types of people.
Q: A hypocrite.
R: F*ckin crazy
S: Easy to fall in love with
T: Loyal to those you love.
U: Really like to chill.
V: Not judgemental.
W: Very broad minded.
X: Never let people tell you what to do.
Y: One of the best damn bf/gf anyone could ask for.
Z: Always ready.
9:29 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Another message..by PJC 2nd VP, Mr Dennis Yeo
=======================================
To me, being a pioneer is to possess Courage. It takes courage to do something different, to step out of one's comfort zone, to take a risk, to step out of the crowd and stand out. It is so much easier to blend in and disappear; for a pioneer "same is boring". A pioneer questions why things are the way they are and ask "what if". A pioneer innovates, creates, invents. A pioneeer is a learner. A pioneer is never staisfied; A pioneer is never bored...because there are always new territory to be explored. A pioneer lives on the edge.
Being a pioneer is also to have Commitment. A pioneer has no guarantee of success...and revels at that thought. A pioneer may be an idealist, a thrill seeker but a pioneer is also realistic. The pioneer is prepared to fall...and to stand up again. It is inevitable to fail when doing something new. Courage is the first step; but tenacity, resilence and integrity are the cornerstones of character. A reward without sacrifice is not worth having. A pioneer will do what is necessary to persevere through defeat, ridicule and discouragement. Without determination, ideals are extinguished, enthusiasm flags and self-doubt reigns. A pioneer weathers the storm.
Lastly, a pioneer needs Compassion. A pioneer who is aiming for his personal glory is merely on an ego-trip. A true pioneer serves not himself, but the community. A pioneer does not succeed at the expense of others. A pioneer recognizes that by improving himself, society benefits and the world becomes a better place. A pioneer is not just confident of his abilities but also confident that what one does will have a positive impact on those around. A pioneer makes a difference because a pioneer cares.
Count yourself proud to be called a pioneer.
After reading the message and song written by pj's VPs, i am truely touched. truely proud to be a pioneer. do not regret being one and will never ever be. when one is experiencing the down side of life, such enouraging words really brightens up the day, giving me more strength and power to face whatever might happen in the future. because i know i am surrounded by people who truely cares, people who will worry for you, people who is willing to go that extra mile for you. i am thankful and such a wonderful things just keeps me going. so thanks for everything ((:
11:19 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Inspirational song written by PJC vice-principal, Mr Tay
===========================================
This is once in a lifetime
you've come a long long way
and now you're near the line
hold on to your strong belief
the targets are within your reach
so stretch to achieve!
Beyond this city
you'll go seperate ways
but down in our memory lane
the times we shared together
is an eternal treasure
Are you ready to fly
limit is the sky
stand up tall and high
do think and act on your feet
be mighty in thought and deed
Hold your dreams tight
never say die
we're all behind(you)
live up to the best
just say "yes"
Pioneers will always be the best!
"Look beyond the horizon and you will sail far in the journey of life"
10:50 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
i think this period of time is a sensitive and emo period for many of us. i'm one of them. easily agitated. easily upset. easily provoke. once you gently step on the tail, i'll explode.
more vulnerable i guess. and today i lost it. to a fren who is dear to me. i mean all my frens are dear to me la. but anyway, out of concern, this fren asked. but because before that i was telling pearl about how my mood went down today after i read this msg from one of my other fren, so i was still quite emotional when this dear fren talked to me. so down came the tears. tickling down my cheeks like waterfall. uncontrollable. i felt really really bad after that. i mean my fren's just being concerned and i gave such a reaction. i'm sure he got a big shock from me. so my dear fren, if you ever read this entry of mine, i just wanna say, i'm very very sorry. i know you meant well and i truely appreciate it. i'm just over-reacting. and i'm happy to have a fren like you. thanks ((:
also, to all other frens who are concerned with me, i'm doing fine. results not that bad just disappointment. so dont worrie bout me. even tho, i dont have a boyfriend for me to cry in his arms during such times, it's okay. i'm more than glad to be blessed with frens with shoulders to lend anytime. thanks ppl..you guys know i mean every single word i say.
2:54 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Thursday, March 01, 2007
the stress level in me is getting out of hand!
HELP, someone, HELP!!!
the fact that D-day is tmr makes me crazy and breathless!
Darn!
2:29 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
My trademark face ;)
Uh-huh...continue talking.... we are listening..
Pam: Yuck. that drink suck! 
Gin Tonic + some hawaii style cocktail..*SLURP*
The result of candid shots. ugly-ness!!
Look at marc's hand...so gay!