Wednesday, June 14, 2006
hoo. im deadbeat. feel as if all my brain juices are run dry by now..after a day of math. man. chem isn't as tiring eh. feel as if all my energy are being exhausted now. dun really wanna think now. but after talking to lou jus now bout u, it really leaves me thinking. thinking bout us.
i guess i jus need some of ur attention. yah. i noe, things would nv be the same. for all of us to return to the carefree us as before. sort of impossible. but i always find myself recalling back memories. memories of us. our grp at camps, outings, sneaking out late at night during church camps. they were such fond memories. we were such good frens before. talked about everything under the sun..never ending things to talk about, gossip about and even comment about. but y has such a matter between u and somebody else actually drift us apart. initially i thot, maybe it's because u went abroad. but i came to realise that, no, it's not because of that. both of us know best, wat's the reason. yahh sure, u do sound "concern" whenever u reply my msgs but it is only meant to humour me?? i dunno. i hope not.
pls dun give me hope and dashed them. i only wish for things to improve btwn us. yah, we are still frens. but "stranger" kind of frens. how can anyone be so closed to another and suddenly behave as if we are not used to each other? how can tt be? i only hope, u'll take one second to realise, "man, tis girl has always been there for me. a true fren. always waiting for me to realise her presence." i only need that. i do have times when i need some special attention, you know?
u really leave me thinking what should i do. just to get that little attention from you. im trying very hard but i know no matter how hard i try, if u refuse to budge, nothing will come out of it. u know..miracles are meant to be created by ourselves. i wanna create one. and i hope u'll be in this one. but i need help. can you make this miracle happen? that very miracle that will make me smile. i noe u'd probably not be reading my blog. but i guess if u ever get to read it, u'll noe the person i talking about, the one i wanted attention so much from, is YOU. make this miracle happen, will you?
im really glad i have frens around me. true ones. the ones that will probably walk life's journey with me. haha. like i have melissa lou. that crazy "dugong" who say she'll help me create miracles with you. the one who's always sharing her inner-most secrets with me, knowing that i'll probably be using her secret to threaten her to do something for me. hah. i noe she loves me so. and there's lynn, my sweetie ka-lynn always going gaga over her ECs and intimidating my laughter. and there's mag, always so worried bout me when i go home after tuition. being all so nice and sweet to me. and fel! constantly reminding me that IT's worth waiting. and mimmicking the way i sneeze like a air fresherner and the way i laugh like the motor fails to start up.
and yah. my clique since sec sch. i have jieyi. my mugging partner. the girl i have so many things in common with. always never fails to understand how i feel and the perspectives we shared for certain matters. and char! my da jie. even though we dun get to meet up regularly, i noe u are always there for me, helping me to analyse why certain things happen. and yea. my niang. my motherly fren. tt sweet gentle girl. she's like my mother, can. except that she doesn't nag at me. haha. and of cos, my beloved cousins! related with blood man. since the day i know how to cry, i know, these 2 girls will be my bestest cousins ever. with vanilla cokes and big drains. if u noe what i mean. and yeah. karlo. my chocolatey lobster fren. always so nice to me, listening to my woes, and laughing at the stupid things i do. hah. im glad i made u addicted to chocolates. man. i miss talking to you when ya at philippines this few days, my fren. and i'll definitely miss you when u leave for abroad.
i noe u guys will always be there for me. man. and im so thankful. ahh. u guys are prob my pillars of support while im waiting faithfully for this miracle to happen. man. i sound as if im giving some thank-you speech. okay, i guess i'll jus stop here for the day b'cos mel's dying to read my blog. hah. so..im off~
*im waiting for a miracle :))*
