heartbreaking. it dawned on me that... "life is short. so treasure every moment you have and cherish everyone around you. say things you should before it's too late. do things you should before time runs out. live with no regrets."
memories, i'll keep. good or bad. they'll stay in the...
it has been difficult to let go..but yes, i'm movin' on (: finally, i know.
9:08 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
saw this on Victoria's blog. something to remind us to hold on to our dreams, however far they are within our reach...
Perhaps this is what we need. A dream, a hope for the future, something to aspire to, and perhaps we need to keep replacing this dream with something a little bigger, because when we manage to fulfill the dream, we usually find out that it's not what we wanted in the first place. Or if it is, it doesn't feel the way we always thought it should.
The smithereens the once-ambitious dreams have become, should indeed, be replaced by greater aspirations. We shouldn't consciously allow them to dissipate into nothingness. What's a life without ambition anyway?
“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” -Will Rogers-
7:47 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
i think JS was a flop. failed attempt. we were late this morning for the paper..it was raining like crazy and the 4 of us actually ran non-stop to mpsh 1. imagine us drenched and soaked like nobody's business. and i was telling manda to run slowly the whole time because my shoes were falling off. damn bimbotic i know. kuku nathans. and the rain kind of blurred my vision. so it was quite a scene to see 4 girls running into the exam hall soaked. thus, we concluded that for the next few papers, we shall be armed with our power shoes and clothes, plus an umbrella. the paper was like....i studied for it of course. no confidence at all. all those japanese terms. every option seems correct because the options were like 1. "tada" 2. "tadada" 3. "tadada" 4. all of the above 5. none of the above
high risk of choosing the wrong ans. owels. with this failed attempt for my paper and a C grade for my reaction papers, i can foresee a pitch of darkness for my final grade. hur. but since it's over then ...oh well.. whatever.
one thing to BRIGHTEN up my entire day though. A+ for comm & new media project ((: spell happiness. H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S (: after all the blood, sweat, and trauma we went through due to the plagiarizing incident... i'm sooo glad it ended well. good job girls. we deserve a good meal after nm paper. now, all we gotta do is to mug hard for nm paper. anws, 2 more papers (:
3:10 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Monday, November 26, 2007
it says: GEK2500-Living with Chemistry (open-book) MPSH4 seat 13 5pm.
hur. hate afternoon papers. let alone evening papers. always risk the possibility of mental blocks. spent 2 days trying to finish up my jap studies, which is still undone. 1/2 left. only tried to read up on my chemistry notes. i seriously would rather read up on my JC chem notes. owels. not that i have a choice. didnt spend as much time on this module as i did on the others so i'm keeping my fingers twisted. *God bless me!*
i can't wait for the day i can say.."it's OVER". what's with exams period? try our best to finish our weekly reading/homework ---> wait for mid-terms to come --> wait for mid-terms to be over --> wait for release of mid-terms results--> wait for finals to come --> wait for finals to be over --> wait for release of final results.
once you get into the exams mode, you worry for your papers. then you'll look forward to the day your exams end. then it's another worrying period when your results are due to be released. speaking of which, i think i'm screwed. done for. finito. dead. not confident at all with my CAP this sem. all i can pray for now is... 1. for exams to be over and done with. 2. sort out unresolved certain issues after exams. 3. pray that the day of release of exams results will never come. 4. maintain that fight fight fight mood.
i just want this sem to be over and done with. soon. so that i can sort out my life and move on with life. right now, graduation seems so far away. yes, it is..haha.
2:00 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
four more to go. still a long way. but felle says, it'll be over before you knew it. i hope. definitely can't wait for next sat to come. after 11am i'd be freaking glad that i'm only left with one last paper. but it's still one longgg week from now..seems like a year to me. it's not the time that i dread passing..it's the process. it kills man. collected my jap studies rxn papers today. disappointment i must say. one that i thought was the best of all my 5 papers actually got me a C grade. then what about the rest of the 4 papers. 20% of a C grade is like...shit. i guess i expected too much. disappointment made me shake my head in dismay. that's when you have high expectations for yourself. and i just saw felle's msn nick: "js paper is gg to be difficult". hur what an encouragement. "good-game" alrd la. roar. hur. studying session & dinner with mate today was alright i think. somewhat productive for us. i think i'm getting old. lower concentration level, poorer memory. TSK. owels. time to hit the books.
sometimes i dont ask for more. just someone, one person to be my pillar of strength, motivation and support. it doesnt have to be someone who's very humorous, or someone who's good at comforting/consoling. i'll be very content even if that person is just silently standing beside me, morally supporting me. that's enough. just a simple someone...
11:25 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
i hate hate hate exams! it's already wednesday! countdown: 2 more days..darn. i can't wait for tues to come. it seems so far away :( and i miss my brother who's away in obs...
11:43 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Monday, November 19, 2007
POP-ed by KAP to study during the day with bao. from now till the end of exams, or at least till next tues, i'll observe abstinence..and i mean abstain from shopping and playing. real hard-core mugging it shall be! went to the hospital to visit couz in the morning...not much improvement though but things are looking better. the nurses are slowly taking off some medical equipment support from him. and they have just removed the neck support..now his whole face looks so swollen. we spoke to the doc..looks like his condition is stable now. but to regain conscious, doc says it's still too early to comment on anything. he might take 5 days? 1 week? 1 mth? or a few...so i guess there's nothing we can do but to pray and hope for the best..
dear couz..please wake up soon. we miss you! dear God, please put your healing hands upon my cousin for speedy recovery...
i guess i wouldn't be able to visit him as often now..with my exams coming on end of this week. but i'll make time next week. it has been a long day. dinner with my girls and lynn's brothers was good. back to the books for now. anws, recent pictures taken.
little RYAN (: he's such a sunshine!
BIG JIMMY!
the vainest peeps on earth. ahaha. my himbo friend.
at Escape
refuge in the big slipper.
my "small" feet into the big slipper
at Lynn's and her brother's birthday chalet :))
her and her spastic other half.
my dear mag acting...."____" (fill in the blank)
HTHT @ KAP.
when she gets into the mood..."ugly faces"
look at that good-looking brother of mine..teehee
courtesy of mish..my TOOTies.
couz dinner at clarke quay
our very greedy side: "to-die-for" drooling over the displayed food "to-be-disposed-of" retarded and greedy side
"drop-dead-gorgeous" trying to devour everything including the glass plane
1:28 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Sunday, November 18, 2007
SUNDAY. tmr's the beginning of my study break. okays. it should have started since saturday. will be getting into full-force mugger mode to avoid any disappointments for my CAP score. have this bad feeling then i'm not gonna hit my target of at least 3.5...so i better chiong...maybe i can still make it for a 3. anws, game-plan-ed just now. I LIKE (: humorous & kinda inspirational i think. there are soooo many movies coming out..but all during my exams. TSK. but i WILL catch them...i hope i have the time tho'...anws, pictures taken today and weeks ago will be uploaded soon. so..off i go.
10:49 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Saturday, November 17, 2007
it is unpredictable matters that made me question God's presence. i know it's wrong for me to doubt his holy presence but sometimes, that bit of faith i'm holding onto isn't enough to give me all that strength i need. especially in times of difficulty, like now.
even though i'm seldom at home, but whenever something happens at home/even to my extended family members, i'd be very affected by it. family's very important to me. that's why i'd always try to spend as much time as i can with my family. but time doesnt permit me to do so for my extended family members. and it is during such times when trials strike that made me regret not showing that extra bit of concern to my extended family.
went to the hospital just now. my cousin got into an explosion accident 2 days ago. i do not know whether he's just plain unlucky or what but, i'm seriously damn affected by what i saw and heard at the hospital today. apparently, a gas cylinder exploded and some "stuff" hit the wall, re-bounced and hit my cousin's head, resulting in the bursting of his brain's nerve. what puzzled me was that, there were 2 other persons around. but why didnt they get hit too!?! the sight of my cousin lying still-less on the bed, with all the different medical equipments attached onto him, the needles poked into his skin....it's just too much to bear. too heartbreaking. aunt said that his brain isn't functioning now. questions of whether he'll become a vegetable came into my mind and bombarded my entire mind with negative thoughts. the doctors couldn't even give us a confirmed answer as to when he'll regain conscious, and the worst, they can't even conclude for sure if he has sinked into coma state or he's just unconscious. i know that the doctors are put into a difficult position when it comes to matters of life and death, but hey, can you please give us some hope? that bit of hope that my cousin will regain conscious soon is what me and my family is holding onto..it's not enough. definitely not enough to hold us up for long, especially my aunt and my uncle. seeing them today made me realized how much they have aged. their worry for their son is evident on their faces, that heartbroken expression when they looked at their son from the window plane that separates them from him. i know i'd probably not be able to fully comprehend their worry for their son, for he is someone whom they spent 30 years bringing up with their own sweat and blood and now, all they see is him lying on the bed, supported by tubes and needles. i hate hospitals, (except maybe the maternity wards). today's a sad day for me. seeing my mom's heartbroken face as she looked at his nephew, tears flowing down. and my aunt's. my uncle's. my other cousins. being the younger one over there, all i can do is to look upon my cousin, holding back my tears, silently uttering prayers for him. the sight is simply too much to take, too heart-wrenching..and it breaks my heart to see my loved ones helpless, waiting to hear some good news, holding on tightly to that bit of hope, waiting for that moment when he regain his conscious...
yes, i know life's unpredictable. but why? why must such things happened? mom said that his company has sent people on 24hrs watch to monitor his situation, but what's the use? all the harm has been caused. can we revert time and return to before all these has happened? no! so what's the point of expressing your apologies now? can't you monitor your employees better? can't you take extra precaution? do you not know that such incidents is bound to happen under such working conditions? why? why must my cousin be that unlucky one? he's barely 30 hello! i can't help but feel helpless during such times. that cousin who used to play with me when i'm younger. that cousin who never fails to crack me up with his humor. even though as we grew older, we drifted apart but he's still my cousin. that very cousin lying in hospital now...
it has been an emotional post, i know. but it's just too much for me because sometimes, i'd rather be the one who's hurt than see my loved ones get hurt. but i guess all i can do now is to pray and hold on tight to that piece of faith...
"God, please put your healing hands on him. please show us your very presence. we do not want to lose him...PLEASE..." silently I(we) pray...
1:32 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
this entry is for you, himbo.
Himbo & team got 2nd place (: even tho' it's not the champions that you wanted so much to get, but at least it's still a 2nd yahh? and i'm so proud of my himbo friend *wide smiles*
the hockey spirit...
12:55 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
i am going on a hiatus for awhile.. so before i'm back, cheers (:
9:48 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Saturday, November 10, 2007
mugging session w the girls today at nus' lib. productive for me (: (make-up for the supposedly deepavali's mugging session with bao which turned out to be very unproductive.) got into some trouble with the librarian because i was the only nus student there blah blah...hopefully there won't be much trouble for me. but anws to my girls, esp mag, i know you girls are worried bout me. dont need to feel guilty or whatsoever, i'll be fine okay? don't because of this next time dont come nus study with me ah. we can always skip the lib and study somewhere else. other than lib, nus still have many places to study. so dont worrie alrights? shouldnt get into too much of a trouble i think (:
read czg's blog. brother, i know you are super pissed/disappointed/upset/angry/irritated at your parents but cool it alright? your girls are here...and despite the fact that at some point of our lives we do get fed-up with our parents like they do at us too, we still have to respect them yahh? yes, they do get on nerves and breathe down our necks at times, but...owels, parents. they love us and we love them too yahh...so, as much as you are upset with them, dont try to argue your point further, prove to them..and pls la, dont eat maggi mee because you wanna save money. damn unhealthy and fattening. i know you are not fat okay, but eating maggi mee wont help in putting on weight much. so dont eat. if you really wanna save money, eat fruits or bread. dont make kris worry for you la..her wrinkles are surfacing alrd..ahaha.
read mag's blog too..hmm hmm..new guy in your life huh mag. i wonder who's the one who said she don't want a boyfriend. okays, i'm happy for you girl. but dont keep things from us la. don't shy :D you can be conservative but not shy okay. not with us. teehee.
okays, a little update for ystd. sister love's birthday. got her a sunflower and her present. this vainpot did not want a cake so i dont have a choice but to get her a flower instead. excuse me, what's birthdays without cake man? her lame reason. cakes are too fattening. birthdays are only once a year pls. tsk. but she was damn happy when i got her a sunflower because mr brother-in-law no longer gets her flowers. i knew she'd be happy because i'd get very happy whenever i receive sunflowers. gees. i got her sunflower because i liked them la..they weren't her fav. my boring sister likes blue roses. hur. but i'm glad she had a happy celebration with us. so... HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY again, sister love. *alert* you are 2 steps nearer to the digit 3! ahaha.
okays. back to my dramas. laters (:
10:33 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Picture personality application @ facebook.(not every part is true tho')
Temperament Flexible
Nothing seems to bother you - you sail through life crisis free. It's not that your life doesn't have its ups and downs, it's just that you handle everything without unnecessary drama and antics. You approach each day fresh, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. You are confident that you can handle anything that comes your way and experience has shown that you are absolutely right about this.
Interests Simple You are continually pursuing a simpler and less complicated life - you don't allow yourself to fall victim to all of the "should do's" that society continually bombards you with. You are thoughtful about your life choices and think in terms of yourself, others and the world in which we live. You have a great sense that we are part of something much bigger and we must be good to others, if we want others and the world to be good to us.
Amusement Thoughtful You are easily stressed out and overwhelmed - you need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Because you tend to be self reflective, you know your limits quite well and must remember to not exceed those limits. When you overwhelm your life with obligations and responsibilities, you tend to shut down and go into yourself even further. Take some time to find your serenity and kick back your feet.
Passion Physical You are a cuddle bug - from a warm hug shared with your best friend to steamy sex with your partner, you enjoy every bit of human contact that you can get. You demonstrate your love for others most fluidly through physical one-on-one contact and you feel the most loved when you are being touched. You feel disconnected when you are physically isolated from others. You're a people person and a lover of all things human.
12:46 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Friday, November 09, 2007
i hate drinking milk. i hate drinking milk. i hate drinking milk.
but i drank it in the end :(
should i open my mouth and say it?
12:22 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
"Portrait of a Friend"
I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers. I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care. I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall. Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; Yet I can share in your laughter. Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask. I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you. I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself. I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend. --Unknown a little something for the people out there who needs a little encouragement (:
everyone's special. even Barney says so..
to all my friends: mel loves you :D
i'm listening to too much of Barney's due to my turtle's and les-les' influence. tsk.
12:09 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Thursday, November 08, 2007
study session @ KAP today with bao. unproductive. very unproductive. we ended up talking again. hur. that's always the case when you put 2 girls tgt..tsk. so i shall study later to make up for lost time. anws, HTHT last night with bao, lynn and zhi gang. we had a good talk i must say. even though half the time, the topic is on me. so...yahh.. nothing much for the week and the weekend to come either. so i shall look forward to the coming week maybe? finals are coming. i'm only left with one more week before recess week. so yes, the mugger mode is on!! (or supposedly to be on by now) *teh teh*
okay..all the good movies are coming out. so i'm kinda looking forward to them even tho' i'm not sure if i'll have the time to watch them all. but i'll try (: anws, back to youtube. so laters!
10:26 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
over at lynn's now. yes, overcomed with laziness today, unable to resist temptation, i skipped soci lect today. why did i skip my favourite lect? because it's guest lect today. but laziness played a larger part la. teehee. so here i am at lynn's. lots of thoughts today. many random thoughts. yet they made me think alot. shall not blog bout it now. anyways, it's my bestest mate's birthday today, so here is my love dedication to her (:
TO: LYNN (notice i highlighted your name in your fav. colour, dear)
HAPPY 19th, dahling! may our friendship continue to grow with many more years to come... love ya mate! ::may our les-partnership continue to blossom..teehee ((:
LOVE LOVE LOVE mel (and mine in my fav :D)
5:01 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Thursday, November 01, 2007
TIREDD! finally done with the darn soci essay. for the 10%, the cap5-ians really put in alot of effort. i can tell. especially manda (: yes, hardcore uni peeps. hurhur. i'm finally done editing. i'm so happyyyy. now, it's jap studies reaction paper. but i've got no inspiration! so i re-watched my beatles' mv for "I wanna hold your hand". yes, smiles. so here's a stanza i like:
Oh yeah, I'll tell you something, I think you'll understand. When I'll say that something I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand.
Oh please, say to me You'll let me be your man And please, say to me You'll let me hold your hand. Now let me hold your hand, I want to hold your hand....
midnight oil again. but nvm, i've got that song (: if only it's true right.
couz dinner at clarke quay 
our very greedy side:
"to-be-disposed-of" retarded and greedy side
