just got home awhile ago. something terrible happened today.
by right, i shouldn't blog about this. and i hate showing my vulnerable side.
but i seriously need somewhere to let it all out. Mom fell and hurt her head. blood and all. i only got to see her in the evening. and seeing her, makes me overwhelmed with emotions. part of me blame myself for not being more mindful of mom. all i cared this morning was rushing to prepare for work, leaving the house not even knowing that mom's sick. with no one at home, the accident happened. although mom's better now, i can tell that she's feeling weak. not only is she physically weak, she's also emotionally unstable. i guess all mothers are the same. worrying about the family, worrying about everything. our breakfast, who's gonna wash the laundry, who's gonna wake us up. with mom being a workaholic since young, she freaked out when she knew that she had to stay in for at least 5 days for observation. all along i didn't understand why patients hated so much to stay in the hospital. today, the look on mom's face told me why.
and all along, the pampered me never did realized that without mom, i'm handicapped. from young till now, either mom or the maid took care of everything. from waking me up in the morning, to washing my laundry and preparing my meals. never once was there a need for me to do all these myself. and today, i hit me hard. after coming home, i started collecting the laundry, boiling water etc etc. being a first timer, i realized how hard and tiring each task was. and mom did everything. from the time she was working till now, and she did it very well. i really think she's a wonderwoman!
seeing my beloved mom, someone i've been taking for granted all my life, lying on the hospital bed, weak and worried, it breaks my heart. she's so pessimistic, the whole time she just keep thinking and worrying over the family's well-being, and being the pillar of support for her now, we had to pretend to be optimistic so that she is assured that everything will be fine. yet on the other hand, my heart pains to see her like that. it's really agonizing that i felt like crying. but no, i had to be strong. now i truly understand why pam said that coping psychologically and emotionally is much harder. it's really hard and i'm trying to hang out.
with work piling up, stress building up and pam's on leave for a week from monday, tgt with mom's admittance to the hospital, i feel tremendous stress. despite having to cope physically and the tiredness, emotionally i know, will also affect me most. now, i just have to pray and pray and pray. i know mom will be fine with God around.
Phil 4:6,7 Be careful of nothing; but in every thing by prayer ans supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
i'm so tired now, but i can't fall asleep. i just can't help worrying bout mom...
maybe what i need now is a pair of arms of me to seek comfort in. very useless me.
11:55 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Monday, May 26, 2008
yours truly entered the OL society today for a period of 2 months. yes, the world of chopping seats with tissue paper and just waiting/counting down to lunchtime & 5.30pm everyday. and yupp, me and pam did that today. chopping seats with tissue paper. oh man! how auntie right! no choice lah. don't wanna sit on the floor and eat. haha. as much as i hate it, i have to say...i really dislike working life. i mean..facing the comp for 8 hours, just working your life away. how boring. that's also one of the very reason why i do not want an office-bound job and am looking forward to a job that allows me to travel frequently or at least get to meet different people everyday. not like this temp assignment that i got...it kills literally. but thankfully enough, i've got pamelyn chong, my beloved couz to crap with during office hours. another thing... i think i'm really destined to not wear heels all my life. my "vulnerable skin"...it just tears and out pop those disgusting blisters whenever i happily slip my feet into a pair of heels/pumps. flip flops never give me any problems. and i literally wanted to walk bare foot home after tuition just now. as much as i like the "click-clack" noise that heels make, the pain is really unbearable for me lah. i mean, seriously. how i admire those OLs who can endure the pain and wear different pairs of pretty heels to work each day. for me, it's NO-NO man. so, yes, mel's experiencing heels trauma now. that pair of heels is gonna be kept in the cabinet to collect dust now..
okays, dead-beat after work and tuition. so i'm off!
11:00 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Saturday, May 24, 2008
just got home. and i had a very pleasant and SPICYSURPRISE from my jiemeis dahlings today ((:
very very good time at Shokudo with the table-full of sinful indulgence and our camwhoring session. the pictures we posed for. oh my. pris' gonna photoshop them and i'll post them up. she promised to give the guys muscles and the girls boobies. ahahaha. i told her i dont need extra boobies. lol. THANKEW my lovelies (LL, manda, pris, felle, yg) for the "bomb-in-the-bomb shelter", the "sun in the flower", the wasabi to spice up the surprise and the cake... we had a great time didnt we? MUAH! mel's very happy, indeed ((:
1:15 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Friday, May 23, 2008
certainly an eventful day today ((: when to the beach with lou with the intention to tan BUT the weather is always against me :(( yes, it rained! heavily too. and we looked like retards trying to get shelter from the small hut. hur. but still, i managed to tan for a little while when the rain stops. shall go back again, soon. caught "what happened in vegas" after, and it was GOOD ((: totally hilarious! and one sentence from the film struck me. "no matter how hard i try, i can never be worthy of him". how sad is that right... anyways, lou has really been a good good good company today! for everything we did, so i'll have to give huge credit to this dahling girl of mine, aka alter ego. and lynn regained her freedom today at 1300hrs, so it's gonna be fun fun and more fun from now onwards. cept...yours truly starts work on MONDAY!! hur. okays. i'm off!
peektures from sunday....
very random and unglam shots i mus' say..teehee more peektures up the next time!
1:11 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
something interesting i saw from chong lee's blog.. not sure bout such things since i'm not a guy (DUH!) but no harm reading huh ((:
Something about guys
#GUYS# - not everything is spot on...but its near the bull's eye....
1. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.
2. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
3. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.
4. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
5. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.
6. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
7. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.
8. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
9. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
10. Guys get jealous easily.
11. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think
12. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
13. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry.
14. Girls are guys' weaknesses.
15. Guys are very open about themselves.
16. Its good to test a guy first before you trust him. But nv let them wait too long.
17. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.
18. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
19. Guys rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.
20. Guys think WAY too much.
21. Try to be as straightforward as possible.
22. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never- been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.
23. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.
24. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
25. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.
26. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.
27. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.
28. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
29. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
30. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
31. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
32. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
33. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.
34. We don't like girls who are too skinny.
35. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.
36. If they love you, they always avoid having direct eye contact with you.
man. i feel like drinking some peach tea now. randomness.
12:01 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Sunday, May 18, 2008
it has been days since the 2 major catastrophes hit China and Myanmar, and the numbers for death toll is still rising. scarily. it really pains one's heart to see the amount of devastation caused, the number of children who died. i mean, who would have imagined that your child would be crushed to death by crumbling ceilings while sleeping?
but at least, international communities are doing something bout it and i seriously think that everyone should play a part in helping these needy. afterall, the poor are always the ones who's on the losing end. i mean, look at the hierarchy of power and you'd understand the case of Myanmar. the thought of the poor people in Myanmar suffering with the possibility of another major cyclone that will eventually lead to a famine breakout....it angers me to know that their government are unwilling to receive foreign aid! just to prove one point. one bloody point. that they are able to handle the crisis themselves! i mean, so what? they should put the lives of the people as top priority, not their pride/face/whatever they want to prove to the world. don't be stubborn when you need help. lives vs face, which is more important?!? no matter how much face you saved or get, it's useless when you exchanged it with the sacrificial of precious lives! totally can't figure out why are they so unwilling to receive international help. my heart really goes all out for those people.
SO...i've decided! i am going to donate to both countries. be it clothes, food, money, whatever. i just feel that we shouldn't sit back and relax in our peaceful, safe country and do nothing. so don't be selfish, people, do your part!! Donations to China Earthquake Donations to Myanmar Cyclone Nargis
12:59 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Saturday, May 17, 2008
out with lynn pam, lou and cheng jie just now. i was good..just chilling out at serene centre over ice-cream after dinner in town. today's not a very good day for many people i think. crankiness and all. so..mate, cheer up ((:
booth duty for open house tmr from 1-3. then i'll have to find my own programmes to last me for 3 hours while i wait for lou.. what should i do alone? i'll figure it out i guess. i'm tired. so bed time.
12:58 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Thursday, May 15, 2008
had a pleasant surprise today ((: met himbo for dinner when he "claimed" that he's craving for prata but when we entered ala meen, guess who i saw! pris and her potatoh. it totally caught pris and me in surprise. but it was nice. i had fun. and i ate my 2 plain prata till i am so full, even now... that 2 guys conspired lah!
anyways, met lynn at her place in the day. MUG GOH! lol. had a good time just talking and updating, even though it's just a mere 1.5 hrs. i miss my mate! so i shall wait patiently till after her exams to catch up ((: okays. the weekend's coming!! not very excited because there's still sch on sat. just that it's not classes this time. i'll have to tend the booth during openhouse. hur. okays. so laters ((:
11:04 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
another bright and sunny day ((: okays, not very sunny, rainy in fact. but who cares, your truly is in a good mood today ((: caught iron man with dida pam and grace last night. i'll have to say that it was good. better than expected. it was a long yet fulfilling day ystd. did my hair and all. but my fringe's short now...so yes, i shall wait and wash it religiously everyday for it to grow longer.
somehow iron man kind of got me thinking. as in, about war destruction and peace. about the world and all. like why people go on war, why peace isn't that attainable etc etc. but i supposed greediness takes over many things huh. that strong yearn, hunger and thirst for wealth, power and status. hierarchy of power. okay, random stuff i know. nvm.
anyways, an interview is to come laters. at THREE pm i mean. i hope everything goes well. it's another busy day ((: so laters!
psst. nice song i heard from bao's blog.
11:41 AM
...Save your last dance for me...
Monday, May 12, 2008
Shopping alone at anchor point today wasn't bad at all ((: i'm surprised that place has changed so much! it's now filled with nicer shops with better bargains. lol. and guess who i saw when i was waiting at the traffic light today! MARC LIM!!! on his bike. haha. distinguished him by his super eye-catchingPINK crocs. haha. met up with lou during her break afterwards and made an appt for my haircut tmr. keeping my fingers crossed! hope it turns out well ((:
previously, the older twin was sick. now that the older twin has just recovered, the young twin got sick. sigh. sometimes, twins was a bit of a hassle, isn't it? but i guess, that's why they are twins... hopefully, my little dahlings will get well soon... tmr's another exciting day ((:
11:02 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Sunday, May 11, 2008
it's been 4 days since hols started. can't believe it. my summer holidays are here ((: it definitely feels good to not have to be bothered bout anything and everything. did my "should-be-done-long-ago" mask today. it surely rejuvenate me! but it's also time to get a job yahh. it'll be hilarious if i do get to work with pam. hmm. cousins working tgt? lol.
nonetheless, work aside, it'll definitely time to start dating friends out, more retail therapy, movie dates, sports and yes, might be going planet fitness if i do start work at pam's. pilates! of course, not forgetting my daily dose of dramas and movies.....
this week's gonna be a fulfilling one i hope...had some programs lined up. oh yay. did i mention, mom bought a new oven! just the right time..especially when it means i get to experiments with new recipes. ahah. who shall be my guinea pigs? tmr shall be the day. like what mom said.."inauguration ceremony for her new oven" . lols. excited!
some peek-tures... [sending steve off to brisbane] [haji lane with dida]
10:33 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
was reading this other blog just now and this what i saw. man! am i just as angry/pissed off/indignant as the other blogger.
apparently this 74 yr old Austrian man imprisoned his daughter in a dungeon for TWENTY FOUR WHOLE YEARS! raped her and even impregnated her with SEVEN children. and yes, he keep all of them in the dungeon. man. and read on to see how this scum of the earth was being charged with. sometimes, i wonder if there's really justice in this world. i mean people like this should definitely be shot. but i think just plain killing them is pointless because it can never make up for the amount of hurt and harm they caused. and what's more, he's not the only one around. Sometimes i can't never imagine that there's actually such inhumane people on this earth and they are actually stepping on the same ground as me. it disgust me to think about them and their abhorrent deeds. such people definitely don't deserve any sympathy from us. not even a teeny bit. none. absolutely none. roar.
from what i see, such people will also be around. but i'm definitely thankful that they are only a small proportional of them. at least majority of us human beings still have some amount of justice and brain to judge what's humane and what's not... may the world be a better place man! this i hope ((:
11:33 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
it's exams no more. teehee. went to send our dear steve off just now. one by one all my friends are taking turns to leave, then come back then another will leave. so much so that i'm kind of used to it already. no one cried surprisingly. but with that crappy face of steve, who will cry but laugh at his nonsense man? lol. that guy's too happy to leave lah. bet he can't wait to see mish. pastor send me & 2p home afterward. can't believe it's the start of hols NOW! it's just relax, play, shop, sleep, yes and work. and taiwan's on the way ((: can't wait!! AT LAST ((:
10:28 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Monday, May 05, 2008
ONE more to go ((: the most unanticipated paper actually but nvm, i'm definitely still looking forward for freedom after that. WEDNESDAY 11am, here i come to redeem my freedom. wait for me ((:
1:19 PM
...Save your last dance for me...
Thursday, May 01, 2008
i'm just done with gem paper for sat and just when i decided to check my nus mail for new updates, i got myself into deep shit. hur. totally shouldnt have log in! damn it. apparently there will not be 4-choose-2 for my phy geog component! damn it. hur. so much for spotting questions and that "XXX kuku-nathan" told us like so last min. i feel so cheated now. like what manda says "he's so bitchy"..lol. i'm so dead now lah. to think that me pris and manda actually just studied 2 topics. shucks shucks shucks. no time! and i have another public relations paper to study for sat too! oh man. someone help me. save me puny little brain from exploding :(( freaking exams make me age...
*pardon for the exams-stress-induced whinings your truly is experiencing now*
just got home. and i had a very pleasant and SPICY SURPRISE from my jiemeis dahlings today ((:
very random and unglam shots i mus' say..teehee
